Golden Retrievers Speak: A Brave New World

JJ: I have been going to “doggie play dates” often over the last few months. After a few weeks of taking me, Daddy decided to take Alanis along as well.

Alanis: I was feeling so left out when you two left the house every Wednesday. Like, what did I do to deserve this?

JJ: Pipe down, girl. All you really did was go back to sleep until we got home.

Alanis: I love sleep.

JJ: Alanis does not have my level of bravery. To be exact, on a scale of 0-100, I am a 150 while Alanis was a -50.

Alanis: If I go into someone else’s house, I am afraid to leave the room we enter in. So, if the front door leads to the living room, I don’t want to leave the living room.

JJ: It is so weird – meanwhile, I want to go everywhere – even into rooms that are blocked off (likely because of me)

Alanis: Suffice to say, I didn’t know what to make of this whole thing. He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride, so I jumped into the car. Who doesn’t like a ride?

JJ: Little did you know that you were going to meet several other dogs!

Alanis: I was so scared. My tail was down. I constantly ran to the porch, refusing to move from my “safety zone”. The world was super scary to me.

Alanis, hanging out on the porch during her first play date. This was her safety zone and she often wouldn’t leave it.

JJ: Meanwhile, I just ran around and played with all the other dogs.

Alanis: That is one of our differences – JJ is the social butterfly. Alanis is the shy girl who sometimes gets trapped in her own brain.

JJ: “How can two dogs of the same breed have such different personalities?” is something a human may ask. Let me ask you this, you silly humans: How can five children from the same mother have distinct personalities? Alanis and I aren’t even from the same litter and you wonder why we are different! Weirdos.

Alanis: People are dumb sometimes.

JJ: Sometimes?

Alanis: Back to me. Everyone decided that it would be a good idea to keep bringing me to these dates. Yes, I was showing signs of stress. However, I was not so stressed out that the dates themselves were too much for me to handle. I just wasn’t used to something like this – being in a strange yard with dogs that were mostly strange to me. It was super scary.

JJ: Meanwhile, if you put me in a strange yard and left, I would just assume I have a new home with new owners. It would still be party time!

Alanis: You know nothing of loyalty.

JJ: I would miss you and mommy!

Alanis: True, that. Anyway, from that point forward, I was becoming more and more brave by the week. Over the course of maybe six weeks or so (once a week!), I have developed to the point where I don’t go to the porch anymore. I may not be in constant play mode (as a 5-year old, I am the oldest dog in the bunch!), but I now get along with the other dogs and all the humans. I have gone from not wanting to be a part of the crowd to feeling as if I am left out if I am left out of the crowd. It is quite the transformation.

Alanis is now a braver, more confident dog. While she won’t yet “play” with the other dog pictured, she no longer runs and hides. She wants to be a part of the action…

JJ: It is a small miracle, really.

Alanis: Small?

JJ: I was being nice – it is one of the biggest miracles in the history of dog.

Alanis: Much better. I even consider jumping into the pool, something JJ (with all his bravery!) hasn’t attempted yet.

JJ: Daddy said he would give you 50 treats if you went into the pool…

Alanis: That is too small of an incentive.

Me: Alanis is not a “fearful” dog in that she will fear bite someone or anything like that. She just isn’t a confident dog when it comes to anything that changes her routine. She is brave within the confines of her house and when she goes for a walk. However, if you change the picture even a little bit, it will stress her out. For example, I brought home a basketball hoop as part of JJ’s training – placed it in the middle of a room. Alanis refused to approach it for a good day, no matter how many treats I put near it. It is just the way she is built.

These playdates have completely changed her attitude. She is a more confident dog. Nobody will ever be able to get her to the level of JJ’s bravery, but that isn’t the goal. The goal is to make her more comfortable in her skin. It is not easy. For example, when Colleen wants to give the dogs treats, Alanis (who gets her treats first) sometimes won’t approach the food bowl to get them, leaving it wide open for JJ to try to pounce (we don’t let him). It is just a silly quirk of hers.

If you have a dog with similar characteristics, don’t give up or thing that your pup is abnormal. The world is a scary place for dogs. It is up to us to help make it a wonderful place for them – for some dogs, it comes natural (JJ). For others, it takes work to make them feel comfortable on this big, scary globe (Alanis).

While JJ is the bravest dog I have ever owned, Josh had some of his characteristics of not letting much bother him. Jeter was a confident dog overall, but he was taken aback by loud noises and was always petrified of the freezer when it opened (many things have crashed out of that freezer when it is opened, so there was a cause-and-effect here!)

Your dog may never be the bravest one on the block or even in your household. However, with some work and patience, there is a good chance you can get a dog to break out of the shell. Alanis has been a wonderful success story with these play dates. I would never advise to jump right into a play date with several other dogs unless everyone thinks the dogs will be a match for each other (these play dates are not random!). If you simply put two dogs together in the same room or in the same play area, that could be enough to get desired results.