Golden Retrievers Speak: Tourney Time!

Jeter:   It is time for the NCAA Tournament!   I am all ready to run under the bed if Duke isn’t playing well.  Mommy is a big Duke fan.

Alanis:  I love college basketball!    But I wonder why they shoot the ball into that basket?  Whenever a ball is thrown to me, I do everything in my power to KEEP it.   Why give it away so willingly?

Jeter:   That is how they score points.  Any teams with dog names?  I hear 90% of colleges use the Bulldog as their mascot.

Alanis:  No retrievers?

Jeter:  Maryland-Baltimore County is known as the Retrievers!  Too bad they don’t play basketball very well.

Alanis:  Oh well.  I guess I will just pick the team with the cutest mascot.

Jeter:  That’s shallow!  I am going with the team that will cause me the least stress – Duke!

Alanis:   I don’t get stressed over much of anything.  I need to pick a different team than you.  I will go with Northern Kentucky!

Jeter:  Say what?

Alanis:  They have a 15 next to their name.  Kentucky only has a 2.  Seems like a safe bet to me!

Jeter:  Alright, then.

Alanis:   Northern Kentucky FTW!

Jeter:  I will just leave you to your silly fantasies.   Notice how neither of us picked Daddy’s team? (Michigan)

Alanis:  Well, they are the Wolverines…and we come from wolves…too bad we would never pick anything associated with Daddy.

Jeter:    Josh had a blue Duke collar – it is in the basket of collars Mommy keeps.

Alanis:   Josh had that collar forever!

Jeter:  He was a dedicated Duke fan – even had a Duke leash.   OK, I am out of here – we need to submit our picks into Daddy’s pool.  And no, we are NOT picking Northern Kentucky!

Me:   March Madness may just be my favorite time of the year – I even take the first two days of the tournament off from work.   The games are usually crazy, and nerve-wrecking.   As always, if you are having company or are going to have food out, just pay attention to your dogs to make sure nothing goes awry.  Enjoy the games!

Golden Retrievers Speak: Super Bowl Picks!

Josh:  I’ve had a rough few days, but I am going to still give my analysis of this game.

Jeter:  I love the Super Bowl!   There are always plenty of dog commercials to choose from!

Alanis:  I love it when a Golden Retriever scores!

Josh:  That’s the Puppy Bowl, jackass.

Alanis:  Oh.

Jeter:   The Puppy Bowl is fun to watch, too.  Who is playing in the Super Bowl this year?   Are the Golden Retrievers in it?

Me:  There doesn’t exist a team in any professional sport called the Golden Retrievers.

Josh:  Well, there should be – Patriots?  Falcons?  What kind of names are those?

Jeter:   I don’t like the Patriots.

Alanis:  Nobody does.  I think even Patriots fans are getting tired of them.

Josh:    OK, what are our predictions?  I need to get back to sleep – I haven’t been feeling well 🙁

Jeter:  Sorry, Josh – we can tell when your days are rough.  I am going with Falcons 34, Patriots 28!

Alanis:   That’s a lot of touchdowns!

Jeter:   You get six points for every touchdown, girl.

Alanis:  Oh.

Josh:  Enough of your bickering.  I am going with Falcons 27, Patriots 21.

Alanis:   If touchdowns are worth six points each, why aren’t any of your scores multiples of six?

Jeter:  Ummmm…oh, never mind.

Alanis:  Well, it’s dumb.  So I am going with the only thing that makes sense.  Multiples of six!   Falcons 30, Patriots 18

Josh:  That score is almost impossible, but whatever – you can have your fun.  I am back to bed.

Jeter:   Hope you feel better Josh.   I hope everyone enjoys Super Bowl Sunday!

Me:  The only tip I can give today is to watch those snacks!  Dogs are sneaky, sneaky!  Leave some chips in a spot where they can reach them and you will end up sometimes with zero chips.  To emphasize this point, Jeter and Alanis are very well-trained not to touch anything.  Tonight, Colleen left a biscuit in the bedroom and went into another room.  When she returned, no more biscuit!  So just be aware that Goldie may try their own little sneak attack.  Enjoy the game!