Golden Retrievers Speak: Quirky!

Jeter:   The title of this entry describes me perfectly.   I have several little quirks, the most notable being that I refuse to drink water that doesn’t pass my “standards.”   Don’t ask me what those standards are, but I have no problem sniffing the three bowls of water in this house and walking away.

Alanis:   You are probably the more quirky of the two of us, but that doesn’t mean that I am completely void of them.  While I don’t do it nearly as much now as I used to, I have this thing where I don’t like walking down certain streets in the neighborhood.   I probably experienced something “bad” (in my eyes) down certain roads in the past, and now have trouble getting down those streets.

Jeter:  That is very weird, indeed. You are so annoying on walks.  I just want to walk – whether it be for 30 minutes or 90 minutes, I just want to walk, undisturbed.  I just look ahead, without a care in the world, while you are nothing but a scatter brain without any direction whatsoever.

Alanis:  Of course, we have this dipshit walking us, who doesn’t know where he is going and can even get lost if he walks in an unfamiliar neighborhood.

Jeter:  That is besides the point, though it is true.  My most recent quirk is that I refuse to go downstairs after Mommy wakes up from her sleep.  When Mommy wakes up (very late at night, or early in the morning, depending on how you look at it.), she eats a frozen dinner.  I am petrified of the freezer, so I have learned to now not go downstairs until after the freezer door closes.   For a dog who really doesn’t like being alone, it takes a lot of willpower for me to stay upstairs alone.

Alanis:  You are a strange bird.   One quirk we both have is that we rarely (or never!) play and get rambunctious when we are only with our Mommy.  We only seem to get crazy if Daddy is in our presence.  I am a barker – I bark to an extreme!  But I am less prone to it when Daddy isn’t around.  When he is around, I tend to bark more, Jeter tends to become more hyper, and we are more likely to be crazy.

Jeter:  This is likely due to Daddy always “wrestling” with us, and throwing the ball all over the house.  We associate that clumsy moron with play, and associate Mommy more with calm….

Alanis:  Except during Wheel of Fortune….

Jeter:  Don’t mention that game show!!  Please  – that is cruel!

Alanis:  Sorry…

Jeter:  I hate, hate, hate that game show!   Mommy yells at the stupid contestants all the time…

Alanis:  I know.  But she is a good puzzle solver.  Much better than Daddy.

Jeter:  WE’RE better than Daddy!

Alanis:  True, that.

Jeter:  I love our quirks – I love that I stay outside for maybe 2 minutes, just to do my business, while you roam out there for up to 20 minutes at a time.  I love that I have no issues with going out in the rain, while you are more willing to hold it in for 12 hours if you have to (that used to be a Josh trait, too!)

Alanis:   Having dogs with the same personalities and traits would be boring!

Jeter:   Correct! Though I do wish you would shut your pie hole from time to time.

Alanis:   Woof!  Woof!  I am a dog, big brother!   I was born to bark!

Jeter:   You are noise pollution, plain and simple.

Alanis:  You are just jealous because your can’t sustain a long bark!

Jeter:   The moment I am jealous of you is the moment I see a doggy psychiatrist.

Alanis:   Can we both agree that we are less quirky than Daddy?

Jeter:  Certainly.  He walks around the house singing songs he doesn’t even know the lyrics to.   Badly.    He will throw a towel on the floor that he plans to use after showering.  How does that make and freaking sense?

Alanis:  When does he go away again for a day or two?

Jeter:  Don’t know, but the sooner the better.

Me:   If you have a Golden Retriever, you likely have your own set of quirks to share about them.   Some quirks are traits that many Goldens have, while others are traits that may be very unique to your dog.  Jeter’s “water sniffing” is something I have never seen before.   I have never known a dog to simply walk away from something they instinctively are supposed to drink.   I have heard of Goldens that do similar things when it comes to their food – refusing to eat it unless it is presented in a specific way.   Having unique dogs will lead to very few dull moments in your dog-owning lives.


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