Golden Retrievers Speak: Jeter’s Birthday

Alanis:  Happy Birthday, Jeter!   I can’t believe my big brother is now eight years old!

Jeter:  Age is just a number.  I don’t feel a day over one week.  To be exact, I don’t even know what a birthday is or how I am supposed to feel as I get “older.”  I will just do what I always do – live every second to the fullest.

Alanis:  That is very philosophical, brother – but also stupid.   Come on, do you want us to really believe that?

Jeter:   We’re dogs, egghead!   We have no concept of time, other than when our internal clocks go off for breakfast and dinner!   We sleep when we feel like it, and take our cues from our human parents!  “They went to sleep?  OK, guess we should too”

Alanis:  You are annoying.  You are EIGHT years old.   You have to feel something, no?   Today, we played fetch outside and you got a nice collection of new toys and treats!

Jeter:  New toys that you conveniently stole from me….

Alanis:  What is a younger sister for, any way, if not for stealing your stuff?

Jeter:  Not that I typically care.  That is what makes the dynamic in this house so special – we don’t get possessive over treats, toys, or food.   I think I have on a few occasions given you the dirty eye when you came close to one of my bones though!

Alanis:  Yes, when you are chewing, you don’t typically like being bothered.  Not that it stops me from trying, of course.

Jeter:   We went for a nice 80 minute walk on my birthday.  It was a beautiful day today – more like middle-of-the-spring than middle-of-the-summer.   Neither one of us even felt the urge to go to the bathroom – we just walked, and walked, and walked.

Alanis:  Daddy did twist his ankle on a curb, though.

Jeter:  Par for the course when it comes to that idiot.  I am sure a people get a kick out of watching him *try* to walk us.

Alanis:   Back to the grind of Monday tomorrow.  I hate Mondays.

Jeter:  Ummmmm..what is a Monday and why should I care?

Alanis:  I don’t know.  Daddy just says he hates Monday.  I assume that means we should hate Monday too.

Jeter:   I guess Monday is another word for broccoli.    I don’t like broccoli.

Alanis:  Guess so.  But doesn’t daddy like broccoli?

Jeter:  I don’t know, nor do I care.   Whatever Monday is, I hope he doesn’t try to give it to us.

Alanis:  Happy Birthday, Jeter!  I wuf you!

Jeter:  Thank you.  It is time for my birthday nap, which interestingly enough, I do very often regardless if it is my birthday.

Me:   Not much to add here!   We spoil our dogs on their birthday, because they are our children!  We obviously recognize that we are celebrating more for US than we are for them!

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